House, Bank Fraud & the Russians

Amid all this Russian stuff, health care reform, and general chaos, former House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who was convicted of bank fraud to conceal payments to a sex abuse victim, was released from federal prison after serving 13 months.

This is not nearly as exciting as another Special Counsel investigation of the house banking scandal Rubbergate along with the Post Office Scandal.

And the most interesting character was the fast-talking Tennessean House Sergeant-at-Arms, with a never ending stream of WTF revelations, a shooting and 3 federal felony convictions. Jack Russ was such a dynamic character: overdrafts, favors for every one, thought of as a junior J. Edgar Hoover, suspected of bugging the house, and just way out there to name a few. Always there with a helping hand or 2, or 3 if he had to borrow or grow one.

And for a fleeting moment in the conspiracy climax heaven there was a touch of Russians among speculations of who shot J.R. Alas, it did not last — just came and went. But wait … why waste a good conspiracy theory not matter how far out, and hey, there are no not-far-out conspiracy theories.

Lets find a place with some Russians, one Sergeant-at-Arms and a bunch of people who have nothing better to do and can use some headcount, budget and then we expand from the known Russians to some unknown mysterious secret international cabal that make Freemasons look like a true charity!

All we need is a disproportionate number of cuckoos and — OMG —  I just know where to find these nut jobs. How —  just how — could we have missed this?

This is perfect for the cross-border wanna-be-so-interntional guys although those Russians were buggy v.1 in development and not a the upgraded recreational ones.

We can call them the Sponge Bob Square Pants gang and the villains Ancient and Glorious Knights of Job Security and Less Solved Cases More Budget Division of Sustenance.

Lets roll this hole 3 ring circus up (and the latest ones) with another SNL skit with Rick and Kate lynn — be careful about the devil bee sting. New fearsome international villains and noobees too!



Author: Sam Sarmad